Thursday, September 26, 2013

Being Single: The Real Deal

Being single means carrying heavy boxes upstairs by yourself. It means mounting your kids' bikes to the back of your Jetta alone. It means doing really hard stuff by yourself that would be so much easier with a back up set of muscles and moral support. Being a single parent means duking out math homework with your kid by yourself and handing her off to her dad for fun and games on the weekends. It means using your waitressing tips for dental visits and letting awful creeps at the bar buy you an emergency shot of tequila before you go home to comb the fleas off your dog. Being single means ciphering through the losers and fending off unwanted advances but allowing your heart to be open to something promising when it does come along. It's using your best judgement but knowing when and how to throw caution to the wind when the wind blows the right direction.

Being single affords proud moments when you drag the vacuum upstairs and manage to mount hooks to the bathroom door with power tools. It's power in knowing how to fight the battles with your own swords and it's pride and determination figuring out the math and learning to start your own bonfire. It's a major sense of accomplishment handing your kid off for the weekend knowing you've been mom and dad and a universe to a well rounded and whole little person. It's drinking wine alone next to the fire you built and staying up late to write and enjoy the peace and cry over the loneliness.

Being single is hard and liberating and lonely and distinct. The ups and downs and round abouts give you pause and strength and freedom and grounding as a human being capable of anything and everything life throws at you with only the tools you've got in the box.

I give it up to you, myself and my amazing girlfriends who power through life with grace and beauty using our only two hands and a heart full of willpower and strength. Here's to us for not settling or allowing a man to define us. 

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