What's My Story?

Sometimes I'd like to flip to the last page of my book and know my story. I want to know that it all works out and that I find love and home and happiness and success.  I've relaxed into an enjoyment of the journey over the past year and I don't want to miss out on any part of my experience.  But it wouldn't hurt, during the tough times, to know that it all turns out ok...even awesome, in the end.  I want to know that, down the line, I'm settled past the transitions and the logistics into the awesome part.  It's all the living part, it's all the journey, it's all the learning.  But there are some things I know I want to experience that haven't happened yet and sometimes that period of questioning, of not knowing, and of making tough decisions is painful.  At those moments I just want to see through to the other side and know I'm making the right calls.

Sweet Peace

Today I stopped to smell the roses.  I went for a leisurely walk to the market to pick up some produce and saw that now all the flowers are blooming and the leaves are back on the trees.  The breeze is fragrant and there are bees everywhere.  I stopped every time I saw a pretty bunch of flowers or a rose bush hanging out into the sidewalk.  It made me realize how happy I am inside.  It made me realize how much work I've done uprooting and replanting to get where I am and how much I love the life I'm living.  I am completely free to put together a new vision for my life and to pursue my writing career every single day.  I ride my bike to and from yoga in the mornings and then I read and write all day long.  I'm still in a state of flux and transitioning to a different place, a different career, and into a different person really, but I've never been this happy in my life.

This sense of peace and happiness comes upon me suddenly and frequently lately and every time I sit and reflect on it with gratitude in my heart and a big grin on my face. I think about how proud of myself I am for taking the risk to begin this journey and stick with it when every thought from my ego said (and still says) it was unsafe and ridiculous.

I'm still at the beginning of this journey, though I think I've overcome a lot of the hardest obstacles over the last two years.  It's springtime and I like the idea of comparing life and my own season to spring and bloom and change and renewal.  I'd like my energy to grow with that of the sun on its way into summer and become stronger and stronger as I progress on this path.