Building My Foundation

It's adversity, obstacles, and challenges that help us discover what we're made of.  Some of us need to challenge ourselves hard to get close enough to touch that inner essence of who we are.  I'm one of those people and the challenge I've set for myself here has brought me closer that I've ever been.  The emotion that comes up for me regularly these days, is a result of being so tuned in, so close to that raw center of self.  Nothing I've ever done has challenged me in this way and it's so important, crucial even, that I don't contract away in fear from the temporary pain of transition.

I'm building a foundation here.  Too many times I have moved into a center that didn't quite fit.  Either the place or the setting or the experience wasn't right.  This time I am building the experience from the roots, exactly as I want it to be.  It's back breaking work, but in the end I will be able to wipe away the blood, sweat, and tears and admire the stuff I'm made of and the dream life I've created.  It will have been built by me, for me, with purpose and passion.  Wherever I live after this home within me has been built, will be my true home and I can live in it wherever I choose.

I must remind myself in my weakest moments, that I am strong and supported, determined and capable.  This is my choice.  This is my calling.

Keeping the Dream Alive

I'm trying not to beat myself up too much for not finding time to write the last couple of weeks.  I try to make peace with it by telling myself there will be times, lulls in my life for writing, and times to be fully living.  After all, what would I write about if not for this time dedicated to experience?  I do have to remind myself, however, when I feel I'm getting caught up in the microcosms of daily life, that I'm not here to wait tables or be the best cashier Rite Aid ever had.  These jobs are a means to an end and I need to keep that end in perspective.

I have come here to extract myself from the material world; to build a life that can be led from anywhere.  I have come here to gain further insight into my purpose and my dreams.  This place and the growing pains of this transition are temporary.  This platform I'm building is a starting ground, a launching point for the great things I'm meant to accomplish.  I need to keep my priorities in line and make sure I continue to reach for the right goals.  I need to reserve energy for my passions; the ones that will propel me toward my dream life.  I've got to keep that vision up front in my mind and access it every single day.